Food Comedy Fan T-Shirts

"I try not to be picky, but this meal is a bit too sticky!"

"Great job of acting! You really appeared excited about Aunt May's 'famous' green bean casserole."

Restaurant menu board: 'Day old - 2 day old - 3 day old'

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Filet minion

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Lockdown casserole

"Charles didn't like tofu."

Better Not Squash.

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"Mixed nuts are brain food, or so I read in 'Mixed Nut Digest'."

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

Murderous Chef

"The other waiters just spit in the food of rude customers, not in their faces!"

"I'm a vegan. I don't know what made me order a cheeseburger. Maybe I've got the flesh eating disease."

"Apologies for the delay. Your eggs Benedict should be up soon."

Road Kill Cafe.

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

'I tried the new restaurant today: they have a three course menu...'

'So this is a kitchen!'

'Apparently, the carrot cake really is to die for.'

"You're losing your everything."

"You're not totally useless around the house - you make a great appetite suppressant."

'Whale DNA was added to my embryo and now all I crave is plankton.'

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'