Food Authenticity Advocate Gifts

Fake honey and the bees that make it

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"I can hear Brooklyn becoming played out."

"Oh, no - not another farmer's market!"

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

What Does God Know?

"Well, okay I'll eat it. But, only if you have a medical team on stand by."

'They are boneless, I didn't say anything about beaks.'

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

Genetically Altered Salmon (and other foods) Research

"There is nothing dangerous about GM foods!" "Keep talking or we'll smash your head in"

"He sounds authentic. That gets my vote."

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

Worlds Apart.

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

'I appeared to start selling more when I stopped appearing to sell.'

U.S. Farm Production: Cup Runneth Over.

"It's time we did something about the new Healthy Menu option."

Newspaper headlines - Butters kills, Margarine kills.

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

Grim Reaper with ChipsFries.

A psychic predicts the discovery of gluten.

FDA Ingredients

"It says it's 100% ground beef. Only bones, brains, butts and eyeballs. Absolutely no pink slime added..."

"...and into each box, we now put a tiny amount of antidote to counteract all the additives."

"Hmm interesting Hallmark..."

"And should you retain us, Mr. Hodal, you'll find that we're more than just a law firm."

"You can see by its smile that this halibut was humanely killed."

'Careful Jack - it might be a GM beanstalk!'

"We use only free-range chicken and suicidal veal."

Customer complaints.

Mom's Diner. Wholesome Food. Grandma's Diner. Free Candy. Free Toys. No Spinach.

"All right, let's admit genetically-modified foods will have an effect on people. It's fifty-fifty it'll be a good effect."

'It's wheat-free, dairy-free, fat-free, nut-free, sugar-free and salt-free...enjoy!