Food As Medicine Fan Pillows

"I'm not feeling well. I'm picking up a few things at my pharmacy."

New Age Store.

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

"Only 35% CACAO? I'll have to eat TWICE as much then!"

Doctor uses thermometer to check chicken.

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

'Doctors are all booked up. Nurse is busy. The best I can do is offer to type your symptoms into Google.'

Friendly bacteria

I assure you the animals didn't suffer. All of our meat comes from animals who died naturally of old age while vacationing in Miami.

"Trepanning for gold"

"It might be time to put you on a stronger anti-inflammatory."

"I find if I say we're having hashtag broccoli or hastag brussel sprouts, they are more apt to eat them."

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' colour

"Take two of these and call my answering service in the morning."

An unlicensed acupuncturist

'You should give her a bigger breakfast - She's just eaten my thermometer!'

'This organic seed's so much better for you than ordinary seed!'

"Take two aspirin and email me in the morning."

'Gesundheit! You must have an uncommon cold.'

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

'He says he makes house calls, and he'll be over as soon as he gets his horse back from the blacksmith.'

'Can you keep a secret? This particular remedy is illegal in 49 states.'

Surgeon and Fishmonger

It's THE miracle pill

Porcupine Acupuncture

"Look at the irregular colors, the odd shapes, the worm holes..."

"Have a banana."

"I don't feel so good, Tia Carmen."

Faith Healer next to the Emergency Room at a fair.