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A vampire in a canoe.

"There are scones in the oven too, in case you're peckish."

'Sorry. lad, but me pot o' gold is at the other end of the rainbow!'

Birds: in hand - $1.50, in bush - $.75, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

'We'd prefer it if you got better.'

'So much for the theory that carrots will make you see better!'

As a Haggis has one leg longer than the other, it was often thought the best way to catch one was to chase it around a hillside. Then have an accomplice chase it the other way. Thus making the Haggis topple over!

'I'd give you me pot o' gold but I forgot me PIN number!'

Buoyed by his past success, William Tell sought even greater challenges,

"I'm writing a memoir. It's mostly recipes."

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

'It's a note...It says I.O.U. one pot of gold.'

William Tell's lesser-known first son- Stanislaus Tell.

Hole in the Dyke.

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

St Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland.

"I don't wish to be disturbed. If anyone calls, tell them I'm in the details."

'Look I know they're all the same length, but concentrate, Mrs. O'Brien. Which one of these fools took your husband?'

The Groundhog didn't see his shadow...because the superdome lights were out.

"They say he was abandoned by summer people and raised by squirrels."

"Do you believe in Bigfoot?"

Giant's Causeway, No Leprechauns allowed.

'I totally forgot what I was looking for.'

'I steal from the rich databases and give to the poor databases.'

Three pirates at the urinal - one looks down and says 'Ahhr, so you must be Long John Silver?!'

'Robin, I've told you - 'rob from the rich and give to the poor' is not a sustainable business plan!'

'What? You used a Welshman? The recipe specifically calls for a scot!'

Knight ponders on how to remove sword from the stone. Peasant onlooker says: 'You wanna get some WD-40 on that, mate.'

'No, I'm not here to grant your wishes. I'm here to tell you that you've had way too much to drink and you're starting to hallucinate!'

Wicca Heritage Centre: Hansel and Gretel stayed here.

'Careful, Henderson - where there's smoke, there's mirrors.'

'We really need to update our emergency broadcasting system.'

Superstitious Black Cat

"It's a little late to back out of a plea bargain agreement."

'I'm Loch Ness, and this is my son, Elliot.'