Fluffy Friend Philosopher T-Shirts

'The pandemic is here!!!'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

"Excuse me ma'am, may I help you cross the road so that I can get the answer to this dumb joke my friend keeps telling?"

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

'I think he got embarrassed because of the sweater. . . Another dog started laughing. I told him it was just wheezing, but he wasn't buying it.'

Giraffe Selfie

Penguin Remote

"I've already made arrangements to be flushed down the toilet."

"Hold my calls for a while, Wilson."

"What if my inner demons want to write about bunnies?"

"El muy mal perro"

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

Living with a cataholic.

"Owning a pet is a big responsibility, not to mention never wearing dark clothing again."

"Just pick one!! We're already late!!"

'Can't one eat in peace!'

Live Flower/Vase Flower - 'Julia?'

'Well, fancy meeting you here.'

'I would love to play in your tree-house, but I can't climb trees...'

Persian

Sun. Rain.

"My Lord, you said you'd walk with me, but I only see one set of footprints."

'You know, I almost envy you sometimes.'

"Unlike the case for dogs, the people that cats own don't grow to look like them. I mean, seriously, what human could look as good as this?"

Begin by removing all surplus mud.

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."

'Yes, I do own a dog...why do you ask?'

'Hunger is a terrible thing, especially around dinner time!'

'Stop worrying, he said he's bring his new friend he's met recently.'

Valuation of Heaven

'Please! Take these and let my buddy go!!'