Flower-pawed Friend Gifts

Dogs getting married have puppies carry their tails.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"There's really not much to obedience school. Just listen up and do what they say."

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

Family with pets.

Christmas Pets

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

Man about dog parasailing: 'He's a water dog and a birder.'

'She still won't accept that she's the cat, and not the meow.'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

''I couldn't wait any longer.''

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Someone's sending us a tweet...it says 'more seed, please!'"

"Humans are strange."

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Chasebook

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

Separation

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

"Cat park"

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

The Tutankhamen Expedition 1908 (The Economy Version).

But it's the other leg that hurts.

Thanks for feeding the plants.

Examination.

Dog Day Afternoon

Man lets his pigeons out to be fed in the park.

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

State of the Art Dog.