Floodwater Philosopher T-Shirts

'Wish I had taken the HIGH road!'

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

'You lifted your head.'

reincarnated worm...

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

He can identify a fly taken by a trout at fifty yards range.

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

Chicken soup for the sole.

Of pitting his own wits against their natural cunning

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

Two Men Angler's In A Storm.

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'How's the water, dear?'

'He's trying to talk them into giving themselves up!'

'...the really big ones can be found.'

"Don't do it - they're trying to beat us at our own game."

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

Cool Cat, Dog Dork, Grumpy Goldfish, Constipated Cockatiel.

Mozart on a lilo

"Cat got your tongue?"

"She thought he was a good listener. Turns out he was a decoy."

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

"So I leave eggs on the ground, and then you come along and drop your whatever on them? That's your idea of romance?"

"My husband is fishing. . ."

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

'Wow, swimming IS great exercise! The bathroom scale I put down here shows I'm 20 pounds lighter!'