Aquatic Philosopher T-Shirts

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

'Water? What's that? I've never heard of it!'

Fish near-death experiences.

"Nation-building never works."

"Trust me, Lew, if anyone knows where the salmon are jumping, she does!"

reincarnated worm...

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

It is essential not to overcrowd a tank as this can cause serious problems...

Kid to fellow fisherman: 'Why do they stink like fish when they've been bathing this whole time?'

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

Chicken soup for the sole.

'Still think nuclear testing is harmless?'

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

"Why... do goldfish have such a short memory span? We don't – there isn't anything to remember if all you do is swim around in circles all day long."

'Oh, come on - If you're gonna mess up my castle, take the whole thing.'

"This aquarium is such a nice prison."

Two Men Angler's In A Storm.

A Poem about Sand

'He's trying to talk them into giving themselves up!'

'Sometimes I feel sorry for those little baitfish, don't you, Ben?'

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"We're not on vacation anymore. The company folded."

Cool Cat, Dog Dork, Grumpy Goldfish, Constipated Cockatiel.

"Don't do it - they're trying to beat us at our own game."

They were a prehistoric tribe that worshipped a fish deity. Ich-theology.

"Cat got your tongue?"

"My husband is fishing. . ."

"So I leave eggs on the ground, and then you come along and drop your whatever on them? That's your idea of romance?"

'It's not art - I just overfed my goldfish!'

"Don't be afraid of sharks. They generally attack only when provoked."

"Are you new around here?"

Snub Marine