Floodwatchers T-Shirts

"That's from the last flood and that's our mortgage."

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"We'll always have Paris..."

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Captain steering house through flood.

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'

'Expecting a bit of wet weather Reg...?'

"We have to recognise that severe weather events are becoming more common. . ."

"What do you mean, 'Climate change is not just humbug?'"

Thru The Eyes Of A Lifeguard.

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

'I've been plagued with worry over rising water levels, so...'

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

'I think this is where our fish pond was.'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

"Yes, Mr. Willis, it's definitely rising damp."

Climate Change Contingency House

'He's trained to the laser pointer.'

'What really rankles is they still haven't lifted the hosepipe ban.'

'Do you suppose we might qualify for asylum in Holland?'

Chelsea flower show sewage

"Ned is getting ready for the oceans to rise."

'If you can smile when everything around you is going wrong... you're probably in the repair business!'

'Should we upgrade the levees or just go hydroponic?'

'It's the plumber ... '

"Actually we were hoping for something a little more sensible..."

Master Plumber