Flood Historian T-Shirts

'Look, thanks for your concern, but I think a flood is something we can cope with!'

"The Ice Age must've caught him by surprise..."

When laundry ruled the waves.

'Luxury cruise you said!'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

On the plus side, I'd wager a lot of you folks back there had never seen an iceburg up close before.

'Expecting a bit of wet weather Reg...?'

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

"Re-calculating, arrive at your final destination in six...five...four..."

"....After ten o'clock is quiet time on board for the comfort of our passengers."

Chernobyl, 30th anniversary

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

Rob The Grinder admires the Nobby Shropshire One

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

Climate Change Contingency House

"When the rubber duck reaches eye level it's a flood. . . wow, brilliant!"

A Hellish Thing (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

'You're right Sir... it is the Flying Dutchman.'

Captain Ahab receives a Dick pic

'Do you suppose we might qualify for asylum in Holland?'

'That Noah's some sailor, the World is covered in water and he runs aground!'

Funk Facts: Pirates.

'No, the word I used was 'unthinkable'...'

Queequeg: Master Harpoonist and Social Director, USS Pequod.

"Well, there's still lots of water around, but alternate-side-of-the-street parking regulations have been suspended indefinitely."

'I'll call you back. I'm out with the dog in the fields at the moment.'

"Look! They're closing the doors! Hurry! I promise we're not going to the vet!"

Nautical Antiques: We Catch Your Drift

"I don't get it. How come it's so cheap?"

Own a piece of history - floodwaters

'Did I or did I not say, no woodworm?!'