Flood Aficionado T-Shirts

'Well, stop watching him if it makes you stress over flood insurance.'

"When the rubber duck reaches eye level it's a flood. . . wow, brilliant!"

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

Next train: Deluged

Flooding

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'Luxury cruise you said!'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'Expecting a bit of wet weather Reg...?'

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

'I've been plagued with worry over rising water levels, so...'

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

Climate Change Contingency House

"....rather than spend millions on a potentially fruitless effort to avoid flooding we've decided to focus on public safety!"

'Do you suppose we might qualify for asylum in Holland?'

'That Noah's some sailor, the World is covered in water and he runs aground!'

'It's the Environment Agency. They're sending a leaflet on how to grow gills.'

"The resort has a pool-bar! Oh goody, book it!"

'Oy! Don't you realise there's a hosepipe ban?'

"I don't get it. How come it's so cheap?"

"Look! They're closing the doors! Hurry! I promise we're not going to the vet!"

"Well, there's still lots of water around, but alternate-side-of-the-street parking regulations have been suspended indefinitely."

Continental Drift will end in disaster when the Arctic collides with the Antarctic and matter collides with anti-matter and explodes.

'I'll call you back. I'm out with the dog in the fields at the moment.'

'Did I or did I not say, no woodworm?!'

'Something on a floodplain, preferably.'

'Quite a downpour wasn't it?'

'Bernie, sell my insurance stocks! Buy boat companies!'

Fierce neighbourhood competition

Alex Higgins RIP...

Water Department Flood

Mexico braces for more floods.