Flood Fanatics T-Shirts

'What with global warming and all, I'm sure he'll come down on his asking price.'

"Got to go, Shirley, my bath is running."

'It's the Environment Agency. They're sending a leaflet on how to grow gills.'

'Don't worry, the ground water here is clean.'

"So. . . you're expecting flooding then?. . ."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"Could you all please pay attention while I go through the emergency procedure. . ."

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

"Perhaps if you guys just swam along behind us for a while."

'...and this is the water garden...'

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'Expecting a bit of wet weather Reg...?'

'...and the property lies in a beautiful valley by the banks of the river...'

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

'I've been plagued with worry over rising water levels, so...'

"Sorry, Noah, these are all mid-sized. You'll have to eat the leftovers."

"Venice! What will climate change think of next?"

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

Noah's lesser known brother.

'A feasibility study has been ordered into a High Speed Submarine link between London and Birmingham.'

"I thought you meant we had a security leak."

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

The chosen few

Climate Change Contingency House

"I say we throw the damn things overboard."

"When the rubber duck reaches eye level it's a flood. . . wow, brilliant!"

"....rather than spend millions on a potentially fruitless effort to avoid flooding we've decided to focus on public safety!"

'Do you suppose we might qualify for asylum in Holland?'

'Your father spent so much time building the ark he didn't have time to study navigation.'

'Well why did you put the cats next to the mice?'

"Noah was having second thoughts about allowing the beavers onto the ark. . ."