Flock Enthusiast Gifts

"I'm here about the found poster."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

Bad Interview Technique

Grandpa gets more than he bargained for when his lawnmower takes flight as a helicopter would.

"I am wearing sunglasses and using sunscreen with 50% UV protection. What could possibly go wrong?"

"It feels good to finally get my feet wet."

'...Stop trying to funk it up.'

'I've got'em right where I want'em.'

Basic economy

"Well they are fake ducks, Honey, but not quite decoyish enough."

'All my children have been successful. Frank here is in the Oval Office.'

"Orange juice, 1/2 lb. bacon, dozen eggs, bread, coffee..."

'I brought in a big order and my boss gave me a feather for my cap.'

"Bandit is very sorry about your expensive drone and wants to say it will never happen again."

Goose gaggle giggle: 'Tee hee! Tee Hee!...'

"Sorry, nature calls, I'll be back in five minutes: Suzie, you're in charge..."

'And it looks like the refs are going to call a hard fowl.'

'Is this your first Henley Regatta?'

'Your dog or mine?'

'You don't want to show favouritism Bruce-it upsets the others.'

'I'd like to spend November and December in a nice vegetarian country!'

'He was born to the sea.'

'I've thought the same thing myself. He certainly doesn't look like any of us.'

"No wonder it's itchy: You have a whole flea circus on your back!"

'Well, we just became unspectacular.'

Man on a flying machine amongst a flock of birds.

Four fleas line up for a race on a dog: 'Hey, did you hear about Frank... he was scratched!'

'Sheep-dogs give me the creeps: I can't tell if they're watching me or not...'

Vampire

"I think Maurice has gone feral."

'I have no idea how many I have in my flock. Every time I start counting them I fall asleep.'

'It's really getting crowded around here! I think we should move to a larger dog.'

Dog walker

'Huh! There goes Sunday lunch!'