Flight Buff T-Shirts

'Do you have to bring your mother on every flight?'

'Safest way to travel my back side

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Not now, Oliver."

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

How am I abducting?

Aliens with abducted person look at a suggestion box.

Battery Lighthouse

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

"It's a fairy simple procedure. We just take out the dead ones and put in two new ones."

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

'I hate having to go outside for a cigarette!'

". . . yes, sir, folks . . . and furthermore, folks . . . for real quality, folks . . . yes, sir, folks . . ."

'And don't be afraid to ask for directions.'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

'Don't tell me you've got another moon rock in your shoe!'

'It's a beautiful lighthouse. However, hauling the batteries up the stairs has taken its toll on my back.'

"Take it. It's your bonus."

Lighthouse powered by batteries.

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

"Can you do battle with him later?... He's watching, 'Game of Thrones'."

On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.

'I'm afraid it's gingivitis.'

'If you plan to run a half-marathon you won't want a stopwatch, you'll need a calendar!'

'Could be worse, Bunny. At least we're not flying on one of those.'

Astronomers studying the 26 moons of Uranus...

Andy's first airplane experience was marred by his grandmother's stinginess

"Let the epicurean feast commence."

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

'Figuring out what a day equals is hard. I think I'll work on something easier ... '

Glimpses One Dollar

"Two for Bethlehem, I assume you want a Virgin flight."

Elephants are finding it increasingly difficult to find unspoiled places.