Flaw-finder Gifts

"You smell like wet cardboard."

Fear/Knowledge

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Hello? Speaking, not listening."

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

Useless information desk at trivia buff convention

Reporter #6: television.

Cheese Pile

"Perhaps there is such a thing as being too well-informed."

'Did you know there's a river in Brazil named after Amazon?'

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

"Is that you talking or Wikipedia?"

'Are you thinking what I'm thinking?'

"Please, Lord, enough already."

Man sees book flying in the Mystery section.

"Apparently, over two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water!"

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

System failure - calling for sysadmin...

Sense of dread & foreboding Information blackout Illumination Facts known

"My holy grail is low-fat, low-cal, high-taste."

'The very name 'windfall profits' show it's an act of god.'

"So ants can lift twenty times their body weight. Big deal. Who can't?"

"Either the fortune cookie cutter failed, or you have a lot of issues you're not telling your mother about."

'All this 'history' stuff you teach about - is it based on actual events?'

"Nothing wrong with half-truths...you still have 50% to manipulate."

Meditation: Do Not Disturb.

Man with a metal detector who finds iron man at the shore.

'No, I haven't taken up jogging...A velociprator was after me!'

Funky Facts: Sea Animals.

"ADHD is a chronic condition marked by an inability to focus attention for an extended perio. . ."

Evidence board

'You can lead a horse to water, Ezra, but you can't...?'

"Honey, please! I can’t concentrate with you in there being married to me!"

business illustration

'All this 'history' stuff you teach about - is it based on actual events?'