Flatulence Humorist Gifts

It's a wind farm.

"There ya go. Cushion rot from farting into the same old chair for 40 years"

'Do Not Pass' and 'Gas'.

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

The Uber Ride of Paul Revere

'Flight simulator'

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

Hydration

"RAF Recruitment Waiting Room."

"Welcome to Trapeze Talent Inc. If you'd like us to catch you, fill out this form, and we'll get back to you if we're interested."

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

1,000 places to see after you die by Shirley Maclaine.

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

"There is no air conditioning in the luggage compartment so stand up straight and stop licking your nose!"

'Here comes the in-flight meal.'

The Fart Side

Gas Price Reads: Way Too Much.

'Catching lunch again Steward?'

Straddling bus stop above a regular bus stop.

'Captain, a passenger says there's a gremlin out on the wing of the plane.'

"A sad incident at LaGuardia Airport today as a depressed 757 landed and burst into tears."

'For a little extra we can allocate you a seat inside the aircraft.'

"In the event of a water landing, your seat cushions may be used as flotation devices. And, your tray tables may be used to bash sharks."

' ... and that's a policy giving you flight insurance covering mid-air bankruptcies.'

"... But, Derek. The travel agent told us not to drink the water!"

'You shouldn't have forgotten the flag!'

'I always ask for a seat in the tail. You never hear of a plane backing into a mountain...'

"For crying out loud! It’s empty!!"

'I‘ll be relieved when they invent the aeroplane, these long trips are playing havoc with my wings'.

Birds talk about flying...we land in the Hudson all the time - no big deal.

'Over on stage number two is the lovely, succulent, Misty Flatulence!'

'Surely you could have missed one episode of Eastenders !!'