Flatulence Fan T-Shirts

'I've been a flatulence analyst for 15 years. . . I'll quit when it stops being fun. . .'

After having had beans at the last motorway cafe...The lorry driver hadn't realized gasses had built up in his cab.

Caution! Big Butt Ahead and I Just Ate Beans!

Give quiche a chance!

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

"Why don't you move over here, Mr. Lowery, where you'll be closer to everything."

Remarkably Richmond

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

Homophone Encounter

'I can't bear to be without you.'

'I feel a leader should be approachable.'

Relax.

"She said don't forget the straw."

A complimentary biscuit

In the great green room there was a pot of coffee and a red-eyed dad, too. Good Morning Moon.

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

'The Search ended today when the authorities traced the runaway pair. . .'

Valentine man in underpants.

"For all we know, a giant meteor could fall out of the sky and eradicate us all. So what do you say we make a little prehistory together?"

The Fart Side

Big deal! If you were smart, you'd have waited for the price of gold to go up. Everyone's a critic.

'Were you playing footsie with me?'

'Over on stage number two is the lovely, succulent, Misty Flatulence!'

"We can't go on meeting like this, I'm practically broke."

'How will I know when I've found my soul mate, Fang?'

"There ya go. Cushion rot from farting into the same old chair for 40 years"

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

We flushed your arteries, checked your fluids, and topped off your AB positive, but look at this kidney - When's the last time you had it replaced?

No caption (Two children sit on floaties in a swimming pool. One of the floaties is shaped like a dragon. A mother and a father look on. The father is wearing a Viking horned helmet).

'No, I don't like dancing.'

'...I love it when you talk dirty!'

'You have Drattus Flatulence, or what we commonly call 'Darn Tootin'!'