Flatulence Fan T-Shirts

'I've been a flatulence analyst for 15 years. . . I'll quit when it stops being fun. . .'

After having had beans at the last motorway cafe...The lorry driver hadn't realized gasses had built up in his cab.

Caution! Big Butt Ahead and I Just Ate Beans!

Give quiche a chance!

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

Remarkably Richmond

"Why don't you move over here, Mr. Lowery, where you'll be closer to everything."

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

'I can't bear to be without you.'

Homophone Encounter

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

Relax.

'I feel a leader should be approachable.'

"She said don't forget the straw."

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

A complimentary biscuit

'The Search ended today when the authorities traced the runaway pair. . .'

Valentine man in underpants.

The Fart Side

"We can't go on meeting like this, I'm practically broke."

'Were you playing footsie with me?'

"There ya go. Cushion rot from farting into the same old chair for 40 years"

'Over on stage number two is the lovely, succulent, Misty Flatulence!'

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

'No, I don't like dancing.'

'...I love it when you talk dirty!'

'Excuse me, would you like a 'pre-coital cigarette'?'

'Do Not Pass' and 'Gas'.

Pardon Me

'You have Drattus Flatulence, or what we commonly call 'Darn Tootin'!'