Flattery Fan Pillows

An old lady complementing a curate on his speaking skills

A Macaroni in 1772

'Let's go to your place. I cook, I clean and then we can have a meaningful shag.'

"The finger bowl is courtesy of the gentleman."

Remarkably Richmond

"Have I ever told you how sexy you look when you sit through overtime?"

"Why don't you move over here, Mr. Lowery, where you'll be closer to everything."

"Actually, I find his murky past rather attractive."

'I can't bear to be without you.'

"Forget it - she's out of your league."

Homophone Encounter

'I just want you to know, sir, that I have always been a big fan of your income.'

"Estella, you have the two most beautiful eyes in the world."

"She said don't forget the straw."

A complimentary biscuit

Massage parlour offering therapeutic, Swedish, and ego massages.

'This is me at my most masculine.'

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

"For all we know, a giant meteor could fall out of the sky and eradicate us all. So what do you say we make a little prehistory together?"

Valentine man in underpants.

'How do you expect me to remember. . . when every year you look younger?'

'Were you playing footsie with me?'

"We can't go on meeting like this, I'm practically broke."

Ginger was born to dance.

"Okay, I'm intrigued."

'How will I know when I've found my soul mate, Fang?'

"Bev, send in someone who knows when I'm fishing for compliments."

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

'...I love it when you talk dirty!'

'No, I don't like dancing.'

'Excuse me, would you like a 'pre-coital cigarette'?'

"Your Honor, has anyone ever told you what a wry, sensuous mouth you have?"

Man flattered into buying by a frenchwoman

'What a beautiful baby.'

Ask Sadie. And now a real letter from an actual reader. Dear Sadie, You are infinitely wise and stately. You are a mix of Princess Di, Clint Eastwood, Einstein, and Michelle Obama. I, on the other hand, am such a loser. Do you have any advice? Signed, Rudy Park. Where to begin? I did not. The media does as it pleases.