Flat Tire Philosopher T-Shirts

'The good news is that it's only flat at the bottom.'

Critical Ethanol report

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

'It's hard to slice a potato once you've looked it in the eye.'

Fred began to understand why this kit house was so cheap.

Chicken: the one-man show

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

'New! - 'Fuel Price Rage' counselor on duty.'

'Just want to give you a heads-up that Danae is outside test marketing her skills in contrarian persuasion.'

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

Fuels paradise.

Traffic Lights Medicine

'This is the last time I get a truck with a think tank.'

'Existential truckstop'

The oil crisis.

An Alien whose spaceship has tun out of gas is about to meet a human with the same problem.

"I would have been driven out of my mind if the lanes hadn't been closed."

Parking Yesterday, Parking Tomorrow, But Never Parking Today.

'It was wishful thinking when they called me 'Flash': I've never won a race in my whole life...'

The Globe

A ship sails on water flowing off a flat Earth.

Roadwork ahead: Proceed cautiously and from love rather than negativity.

The End.

Hell's Ethics

"Yeah, but building a custom lowrider can cost at least $20,00.

Motorists see sign: You are now approaching the world's first automated highway(Last chance for a fit of road rage for 150 miles).

Flatlas

Thoughts in Traffic

Let Go and Let God

'You are now entering Samville. Samville needs a ride.'

Tunnel of Life

"With all of the long lines because of road repair, this car idles the best.

This lane reserved for average persons only.