Rollercoaster Philosopher T-Shirts

Tunnel of Life

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Pigeon Little

'Who's this 'Art in Heaven' guy you keep talking about?'

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

Reverse psychology

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Remember, it's about the journey, not the destination. But sure, I'll keep an eye out for a rest area.

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

Hamlet in the craft shop.

'Let the record show that I suggested primordial souffl'ee.'

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

Two wheels good, four wheels bad.

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

Jeffrey's Time Machine: '...I want to go back and see what the world was like when people weren't so stupid and annoying!'

Toys from the Pre School of Hard Knocks - Stumbling Blocks.

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Just how many ways are there to skin a cat?"

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

Religion & Economics.

'Since you're a teacher, we picked this one from the Tree of Knowledge.'

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

The Meaning of Life

Stock Hurricane Ride

KNITEO ERGO SUM!

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

Chicken: the one-man show

Economic