Flag Flying Fanatic Pillows

'I'm patriotic, but nobody beats Fido at wagging the flag!'

Flags

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Can our software do that?'

If nobody had invented graphics

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

US and the EU

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Football

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Boy pilot.

"All of a dither as per usual!"

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"This crucial pre-game drill keeps you focused and eliminates distractions!"

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

"All those training sessions, seminars and studies... ... to reinforce the reality of womens equality and extirpate any remnants of a deluded belief in male superiority When all we had to do was show them Rachel Daly doing a bicycle kick GASP!"