Fix-it Fan T-Shirts

'Drat! I better take her in. The check engine light just went off.'

"Renovating your bathroom?"

'As you can see, it's a bit of an emergency.'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'I can't stop the toilet from running. If I did, we'd be able to hear the dripping faucet.'

Bill really wishes Dave would break down and buy an extension ladder

"I see you've had a go at mending the dripping tap."

'Well, that's fixed that.'

'The job you found on line is the same one I placed... for a handyman to fix things around here.'

"Yes...but when you said you thought your engine was missing..."

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

Toy repair.

"I never forget a face."

'Did anyone bring the duct tape?'

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

"Don't s'pose you know how to change a flat?"

"I tried thumping it, but it only made thing's worse."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Tool Box

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

Timber preservation

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

Bob’s Museum

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of dealing with emergency plumbing problems are the hardest.'

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'