Fix-it-attempter T-Shirts

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Tool Box

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

'Well, that's fixed that.'

Timber preservation

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

Bob’s Museum

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

Forgot your locker combination? Let Sammy the weasel pick it open for you!

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

"Was it a fuse?"

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

'I think I found the problem.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

Organized chaos.

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

"I only need two tools: WD-40 if something doesn't move that should, and duct tape if something moves that shouldn't!"

Problem Solver Wanted

"Remedial Karate"