Fix-it-yourselfer T-Shirts

'Don't tell me to watch my language! You give me this sort of quote, I'll give you this sort of quote!'

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Tool Box

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

"The bad news is that I backed into a fan. The good news is my owner's a plumber."

D.I.Y

"When it comes to fixing his own computer, I call it his PDDIY project. That stands for please DON'T do it yourself."

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

Fixing the TV.

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

Is this for wiping greasy hands?

Bob’s Museum

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

"All right, pal, I'm just saying, that's what I'd do if it was my Large Hadron Collider."

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

"Was it a fuse?"

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

"The blow drier is broken."

"Never marry an engineer."

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

Man falls through ceiling - 'Did you find the leak?'

'I think I found the problem.'

"I'm looking for a Father's Day gift. What kind of wrench says 'I love you'?"

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

Organized chaos.

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"