Fitspirational Friend Pillows

'The exercise hasn't been a total failure. My personal trainer lost 10 pounds.'

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

Santa Dog

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

The new diet not working out too good, huh, Frank?

Hold those deer to you near to you this Christmas.

Cinderella insisted on always having glass slippers - even into old age...

"You're suffering from extreme laziness."

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

Brahms and Liszt at Christmas!

Shall I be mother?

'No, that doesn't make any difference either, Miss Jones.'

"I guess exercise will make me feel more energetic, but I feel like I'm wasting all my energy exercising!"

"Things that make me feel better/Things I'm too tired to do......Things that make me feel worse/Things I do when I'm tired.

What your guitar says about you.

"Oh I don't mind the jogging, but I think you tricked me. When you asked if I wanted to exercise, I thought you said, extra fries!"

'Who else have I written for? Ridge Park Avenue, 7th Street, Elm Road, Thornwood Drive...'

Dog Weightlifting

'What's the use? Everyone has his own PC future-probability program these days.'

'Wouldn't it be easier if we just got more heavier friends?'

The Inventor of the Man Bun.

Arabian Nights.

"It's our fault. We put out milk & cookies and now we can't get rid of him."

Taking the elevator instead of the stairs.

"Be nice to people climbing the wall, because you'll meet them again rappelling down."

"If only legginess were based on circumference."

"Let me help you, dear."

"Broken chairs, unmade beds, porridge everywhere... and a one-star review. Worst Airbnb customer ever."

Charlotte insists on a second opinion.

'I realize this is an advances aerobics class, but I still don't think we're ready to work out to 'Flight of the Bumble Bee'!'

Flowers Explosion!

"My goodness, Albert! Open your eyes and watch out where you're going while grazing!"