Fitness Paradox Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Actually, George goes to the gym every day. He's the cleaner there."

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Critisize your weight.

An old man exercising with hourglasses

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

Guy in gym

"I didn't know they made a 'Sitbit'"

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

And this model comes with a fitness tracker.

'Are we having fun yet?'

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

'On my new diet I can eat anything I want, but have to walk 500 miles a day.'

"We just made a big cancer breakthrough. Have a cigar."

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'Flipping the remote and clicking the mouse are his low-impact aerobics.'

"We daren't go in there at our age. We'd probably end up with slipped discos!"

'Chef's salad as ordered.'

"How much does it cost to buy a membership then never use it?"

'if your wife ever asks you to meet her at Pilates...don't! It's not a pizzeria.'

"Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body. . ."

"It's a cause close to my heart."

'Maybe I've got washboard abs underneath - you ever think that?'

'Seems like we're all too old, unfit, overweight. . .'

"Now bend forward to touch floor between feet- try to keep knees straight."

"We gave every employee the latest fitness tracker wristband. It helps them keep tabs on our 35-step-per-day limit."

"Yes... I'd like to cancel my membership to the company fitness program immediately."

"Ugh . . . nevermind."

'You need an exercise program other than bar-hopping.'

"Your training begins just as it did with the masters of old... with positive affirmations and five minutes of low-impact cardio."