Fitness Enthusiast With A Lazy Day Gifts

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

Police Feline Unit

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

Lazy Octopus

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

American Idle.

Cat and mouse

Bill and Lester have a 'Hay Day'.

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

To be honest, I'd just as soon as lay in the yard, but he so looks forward to it.

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

Catatonic

'Can you mow the lawn? The kids can't find their trampoline.'

"Would you get me a beer from the refrigerator? Just grab one of the cans on the top shelf. Come on, I do so much for you—all these years, the walks, the food, the chases... Come on! Never mind."

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

"I've had a lot of exercise today! I jumped to several conclusions, ran my mouth on the phone, and I just cycled through 500 cable channels!"

'The great thing about sloth is you can't be blackmailed for it.'

'I've never known a dog who gets tired so quickly.'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

Gifts from the House of Low Goals.

'If it's a universal remote, how come it doesn't work on the refrigerator?'

How the goat got square eyes.

Dribbling and snoring - proof that men can multi-task.

"Do you want to order in or wither and die?"

'Ah, business as usual.'

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

'And one and two and let change through and three and four and collapse on the floor.'

Couch Potatoes

'Some blue-arsed fly you turned out to be.'

'Don't get up. ... I've got it!'

Inactive wear store.

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

'I don't care how comfortable you feel with me. This reels weird for a first date.'

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."