Fitness Compromiser Pillows

'With the handy remote you can adjust your exercise program from the couch.'

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

'My arms are getting shorter.'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'Busy Dear ?' 'Just watching my exercise video.'

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

"No need to give me credit . . . I'll just take it."

'Of all the people I know, I like running with you the best Angela.'

"I don't think there's anything wrong with your fitness watch: It's just that you haven't moved enough to trigger it..."

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"And the best feature of this shoe is you'll look Athletic even if you're not."

"The doctor wants me to exercise more, so I need you to lift my feet even more when you're not vacuuming."

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

"Good coffee."

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

"Well, my fitness band told my doctor how lazy I've been since my last visit. How do I turn on privacy on this thing?!!!"

No, dear, I couldn't workout today, but I did do some strenuous selling and rigorous reinvestment!

'This looks good. It's a six-hour special on how society is becoming too sedentary.'

"Moving to a chair to eat three times a day really isn't 'doing sit-ups!'"

"I haven't lost any weight, so instead of watching just one, I'm going to watch two exercise videos a day."

End of summer fantasy vs. end of summer reality.

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

"Four out of five doctors recommend that you get up and get some exercise."

'What makes you so sure this is good for my health?'

"She's forgiven me."

"When good hamsters go bad."

"Since I never actually go to the gym, can I deduct the membership fees as a charitable contribution?"