Fitness Compromiser T-Shirts

'With the handy remote you can adjust your exercise program from the couch.'

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

'She thinks I'm out every night training for the London Marathon.'

'My arms are getting shorter.'

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'Busy Dear ?' 'Just watching my exercise video.'

Woman leaves a stick of dynamite on her weighing scales and runs away

'Of all the people I know, I like running with you the best Angela.'

Sadie, the way you objectify football players is unconscionable. It's what? All you talk about are their muscles, square jaws, animal intensity. Ooh. What? I live it when you get all puffed up and macho and tough. And what biceps. Much better. Well played. Girl does what she's got to.

Time Management Conultancy - Out, Out

"No need to give me credit . . . I'll just take it."

"I don't think there's anything wrong with your fitness watch: It's just that you haven't moved enough to trigger it..."

"The doctor wants me to exercise more, so I need you to lift my feet even more when you're not vacuuming."

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

"And the best feature of this shoe is you'll look Athletic even if you're not."

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"Good coffee."

'The other foot also Mrs Zipsky!'

"I watched that Marie Kondo program on decluttering and decided to get rid of Norman."

"Okay, we've put on our exercise clothes. Now what?"

"Athlete? No. Ambulance chaser."

"Well, my fitness band told my doctor how lazy I've been since my last visit. How do I turn on privacy on this thing?!!!"

No, dear, I couldn't workout today, but I did do some strenuous selling and rigorous reinvestment!

'This looks good. It's a six-hour special on how society is becoming too sedentary.'

"Four out of five doctors recommend that you get up and get some exercise."

'No thanks: I'm more of a sprinter than a jogger...'

'What makes you so sure this is good for my health?'

'Well, we've been talking about downsizing, and it looks like the bank is going to make sure we do.'

"I haven't lost any weight, so instead of watching just one, I'm going to watch two exercise videos a day."

"When good hamsters go bad."

"Since I never actually go to the gym, can I deduct the membership fees as a charitable contribution?"

End of summer fantasy vs. end of summer reality.

"Moving to a chair to eat three times a day really isn't 'doing sit-ups!'"