Fitness Comedian T-Shirts

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

Man in a gym decides to use a sail on the rowing machine.

Sit-ups / Stationary-ups

"Nice try Mrs Wimslow"

'I want more stamina so I can watch more TV.'

"It's a new diet book. You can't eat until you finish reading a chapter."

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after three little children all day."

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

Bench Press Accident

"Can Johnny come out and eat?"

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

Keep Fit.

'When the doctor told you to warm up before exercising, I don't think he meant with hot chocolate and hot cross buns.'

Robber on treadmill

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

Fast Food Dieter

Health

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

Pelobong

Pollyanna, the Hamster

Easy chair exercise machines

"Still on your left."

"My doctor told me I should start working out."

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

Musclesnakes just swallow the dumbbells.

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

Please seat to be weighted.

'Yeh it's just that I haven't been able to swim on my front,since my boob job.'

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

Fitness Club Founded in 1892

"Damn speed hump!"

Jeff was watching his weight.

The irony is that Euclid himself is way out of shape.

"Now on the count of three, each of you will turn, aim, and fire, all the while keeping your core engaged.

"I feel so much more relaxed since I punched out my yoga instructor!"