Fishy Excuse Maker Pillows

"Oh, come on, Mr. Waldner, you knew I was an angler when you hired me."

Fish talking about fisherman

"I have to rest. The 'check engine' light on my activity tracker just came on."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

Man to other about fish on wall: Heh - I use that size fish for bait!'

'He's trying to talk them into giving themselves up!'

Homework flavored dog food

"You'll have to find another excuse. The vet said I should remove salt, fat and homework from my diet."

"Fish needs bigger hole."

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

Procrastinator Hall of Fame

Pets are not only good companions, they're good excuses.

Lame Lines

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

'BEWARE OF DOG (eats homework)'

'You always say you'll do things tomorrow. . . but you never do.'

"My dog is a finicky eater. He refuses to eat my homework."

'Who needs a measuring tape when you've got an imagination?'

"He's faking it to get out of school. Bring in his teacher and run some tests."

"C'mon. I've been saving for a rainy day.''

"My dog deleted my excuses app."

'Of course I've not dusted - you know I prefer a matt finish!'

"I figured by not doing my homework I'd lighten your workload by giving you one less paper to correct."

'Can you stop giving me homework, Miss...My dog's putting on weight.'

'Jogging's too dangerous for me. I tried it once, and I rear-ended a mailman.'

"It was a huge topical depression bringing with it cyclonic winds, mountainous seas, severe flooding, and a damage bill of millions of dollars, mum!"

This smart phone comes with excuses for not keeping in touch with your mother.

My dog ate my flash drive, and that's where I stored my homework.

'Sleeping at my desk? Uh, no, I was just buffering.'

'Oh, I would say it was at least twice that size, and it had fangs and horns too...'