Fish Fan T-Shirts

"The perfect killing machine? Is that all I am to you?"

'Looks like you're underwater on your mortgage.'

"Look, I know you and I have had our differences, but can we at least agree that the goldfish is pointless?"

"I want a bagel!"

'Please, just call me Mario. We like to keep things informal around here.'

"Why don't you just stay and work on being a better fish?"

'And now, as a token of my appreciation for the vital role your species plays in the food chain, I'm going to eat you!'

'Randal darling. The piano tuna's here.'

"When's the last time Peterson had a vacation?"

"No! No! I swear I didn't say nothing!"

"If fishing wasn't bad enough, we now have to worry about phishing, too."

'Those fish-oil treatments doing your arthritis any good?'

'Let's say you caught 5 fish, and I caught 3...what would we have? 'A fish fry?'

'Sequence my genome? They don't even know I exist.'

"With all these omega-3 fatty acids, you'd think I'd feel better."

Goldfish in a coffee pot

'He has no sense of proportion.'

'No, I'm not going anywhere today: It's my pilot fish's day off...'

'Something's wrong here.'

Hitch-hiking salmon

"I love playing Hide-And-Go-Seek with Hammerheads. They never find us here."

'My horoscope said I would be taking a long trip today.'

"Listen carefully, I don't have much time."

"Trust me- you're more than ready."

"No, I don't think you're growing a gill."

'Of course I'll go back to your place. I'm running out of oxygen.'

Cats waiting for fish

Freud at a crossroads: "Psychoanalysis should relieve stress and anxiety..but so does looking at fish."

"My name's Bob and I drink like a fish."

'That would be too easy - I'm doing a sponsored walk.'

Fish king swimming around his bowl!

'My husband always loves your Poisson distribution - it's something to do with being a mathematician.'

'You've got to help my son, Doctor — he's joined a cult that crawls up on beaches!'

Man with a Fish Skeleton.

'Oh my! He finally proposed!'