Fish Counter Pillows

' I thought we had six fish in the livewell.'

'C'mon Ben, there's no need to count them out!'

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

"O.K. he's a billionaire, but how much of it is in cash?"

An abacus swimming pool

"These are magic beans, my boy. Their value comes from growth and scale, not revenue."

Company profit making scheme - Jenkins, you owe us £327.95.

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

"Oh, that three billion dollars."

Do you want this set of books, or the set you keep in the broom cupboard?

"Our accountancy firm says that there are a number of ways to interpret the figures... which one do you prefer?"

"I LOVE you more than old people love to pay for everything in exact change."

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

"Mother, I sold the cow for some financial derivatives."

'I've added this up six times and still can't get it to balance!'

"She's passed out...quick! take her pulses!"

'I got one this small.'

C.P.A.

Entry level astronomer...

"These here accountants should be ready just in time for tax season."

'Stocks rose on news engineers are close to developing a car that runs on lattes!'

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

Tax - Random Audit

"I'm sorry, Sam, but all of this doesn't add up to a hill of beans."

'I bet he can run twice as fast as you can.' 'But he has twice as many legs!'

"I think it's just human nature to set up a private special purpose business entity to conceal balance sheet transaction in order to maximize an earnings forecast."

'A boat in every garage, a limit of fish in every creel!'

'You say that you were a chef before retraining as an accountant?... That's good, we could use a bookkeeper who can cook.'

'Is it safe to come out? Are the auditors gone?'

"Warning! The fish in this lake are very smart!!"

'50 of the population spends more than they earn. That's where we come in.'

I'd like to investigate your tax return!

"You can't lend me the £100 I asked for, only £70? Don't worry, you can own me the rest."

'I hate to admit it, but I counted sheep all night.'

When animal cloners suffer from insomnia.