Fiscal Responsibility Nerd Gifts

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Great Chinese Dynasties

The Current Separation of Church and State Explained.

'I suppose we've got to keep a sense of perspective. The Greeks waste our money, the French merely spend it.'

President S Grant's Proposed Civil Service Reform not to the Taste of Certain Senators

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

"Post holiday sales look similar to the crater that killed the dinosaurs."

The End of Trump?

"No, unfortunately I won't be raising your debt ceiling."

It's 10 P.M. does anyone know what 'sequestration' means?

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

'The National Debt just sounds like it's a lot of money because it's such a large number.'

"I realize how helpless and needy they are, but I'm afraid you still can't claim a human as a dependent."

'Two new NBA franchises: The 'Wall Street Bulls' and the 'Main street bears'.'

'I FEEL YOUR PAIN!'

Our 4 Branches of Government

'We're all wearing them - they were a gift from Warren Buffett.'

"And please let Alan Greenspan accept the things he cannot change, give him the courage to change the things he can and the wisdom to know the difference."

"Found meat is income."

'Your Starbucks, McDonald's, and Hershey Stocks all went down. That shows you should never buy on an empty stomach.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off by as much as two dollars.'

Manifest Destiny for Accountants

'Luigi wants to know if you have considered consolidating all your existing debts into one manageable monthly payment?'

"Experts agree - we need a tax increase."

The Boom-Bust Cycle of Capitalism

"Here's my idea. First we privatize everything. Then we fire everyone. Then we give ourselves bonuses for frugality."

OXI

'Speculation, speculation, speculation!'

Stocks were up today on news that most of us have no @#%^ clue why stocks go up or down.

The New Abnormal

"So he's a Hyena. He does a quicker, cleaner job than any of you!"

"Good news! The White House has agreed to negotiate with us on that $400 mil in cuts!" "What do you have to give up next time... the other arm or a leg...?"

'I warned them! I told them the sky is falling! The sky is falling! But, this time nobody listened.'

Reverse piggy bank

"It's agreed then. We'll merge our company's hilariously overvalued stock portfolio with your labyrinth of quasi-legal shell corporations, toss a bone to the stockholders, give ourselves ENORMOUS bonuses, and worry later about how to make it all work!"