Fiscal Funfinder Pillows

'I won't be frittering my bonus away on booze and stuff.' ... 'I'll drink to that.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

British savings accounts

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'Recent studies in primate colonies suggest that organizational performance can be improved by replacing complicated financial incentives with bananas.'

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

'This is the BEST well we've dug!!'

"There's more inside."

Fiscal Compass for the Global Investor.

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

What happens when the bears are running the market.

'In order to fund your deferred compensation, we won't be paying you any salary.'

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

'And finally, a steady decline in earnings has forced us to trim the presentations budget.'

'I love it when you say - 'I'm going to print money'.'

'Oh, wait. There's a note. It says; Fill her up with euros.'

'It takes great courage of conviction to know you're wrong, yet still proceed forward.'

Wall Street Money Never Sleeps. They've obviously never seen my investment portfolio.

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

It's 10 P.M. does anyone know what 'sequestration' means?

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

'Looks like your recovery has been slowed by a diet rich in Greece, followed by a bout of gas problems. Continue to take your QE and call me next quarter.'

10 Days Without an Interest Rate Change

"Secondhand books, reheated coffee"

Uncle Sam is Big Brother.

'Stocks fell on the news that whatever can go wrong, usually does go wrong.'

"Goodbye cruel world."

'Can you get me in touch with people that own me money?'

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

Guess your net worth, only 25 cents.

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

I think I can...

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."