First-time Parenthood Gifts

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: "Right, that's it...you're going naked!"

Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 5

"The nursery is almost finished."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

"She's been so creative lately."

A midwife holding a baby

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

Knight feeding his kids.

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

Rocking horse

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

Trombone emerges from pram. Mother says: 'I'm a firm believer in starting them young.'

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash

"When did she start crawling?"

'and on the Kids' Menu, we have Cranky Pants French Toast...'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

So I guess the moral of Hansel and Gretel is always carry your cell phone!

Ask me about my litter! !

Fertility goddess. Nanny goddess.