First-time Mother Gifts

''D' is for 'Despair'; 'E' is for 'Exhaustion'.'

Out of patience

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Madonna of the Pukes.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

Whoa

Mother Nature

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Fitness Programme for babies

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"They look so young and helpless."

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

'Cracked nipple? But I didn't even drop you.'

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

Woman as a beacon and guide of the family

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'Ugh Not Again!'

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

Breastfeeding: Good Design Council

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

Kids really do make you view the world from a different perspective...I'm on the floor, behind the couch, under the bed...

'That never gets old.'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

Maternity Hospital