First-time Fatherhood Gifts

Maternity Arrivals

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'I know one of my shoulders is lower than the other. It's because my father's guiding hand is always on that shoulder.'

'What has twelve legs and barks?'

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

Dad Trophies

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

'You change him, and I'll change the tire.'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

Food deliverer's baby.

"I miss the Augean stables."

"That's mine!"

"It's a boy, ... and two girls, then another boy, another girl, and there more boys."

"They look so young and helpless."

"Please doctor, hit him again. I need to get that ring-tone."

"Which end does the diaper go on 'cause there's stuff comin' out of both of 'em!"

Roger Buffle Jr. supplies his father with yet another computer password.

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

"You really shouldn't ask for material things like a bike. At least try for a Porsche."

"Which one's yours?"

"Which one's yours?"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

Father nursing his sick child

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

'That never gets old.'

"My first Father's day!"

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

Mime father in the delivery room.

'Please tell me I'm adopted.'