First Thanksgiving As A Host Pillows

'I sure hope this pairs well with what they're serving.'

Grace For Flies

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Happy Turkey Day!

Turkey Autopsy

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"This might take awhile, Lord."

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

Turkey Autopsy

"Never say you're stuffed!"

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

"It helps if you think of it as a turkey."

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

"He bought a thermometer for me, and I'm not even sick."

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

Turkey a la Mode

"I guess you weren't doing it right."

"You don't use a cookbook, Tia Carmen?"

"You understand this was just business."

"Your house is smaller than I remember it."

'Don't worry. I'm just going to take a little off the top.'

'He has a real quiet way about him...until the feed runs out.'

'Oh, please... You call that a genocide?'

'Before the end of November, we need to learn to do that.'

"I'm thankful for not being a turkey."

The first super committee.

'For the instant mashed potatoes, the heat and serve puddings, the canned cranberry sauce, the defrost and serve pumpkin pie and the delivered roast turkey, we are truly thankful.'

"They didn't vote to make you the national bird but don't fret, I know another way you can serve your country!"