First Rental Experience Gifts

I thought you said your building didn't allow dogs. Actually, that's the world's biggest mouse.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"Too bright."

A DIY disaster.

"Sorry, you're only allowed one carrion."

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

So...this is the roommate. Awkward...

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

IKEA Book

A Giant at the Airport.

Painting the ceiling with a paint roller attached to an umbrella.

Glastonbury. Before.

"Airbnb?"

"Think of it -- you'd never have to fold another shirt."

'Now boarding all passengers in the middle class.'

'...and the property comes with a fully fitted kitchen'

"It's a little bit small,but it's got great cross ventilation."

"Yes Dad! I can see the ground way way down below very clearly! It's not unrelated to my reluctance to try flying!"

'This bathroom ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"Everyone seems to be having no trouble assembling our products. Apparently, we're making our instructions too easy."

Sometimes they need the oxygen mask after they see the new baggage fees.

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors, slip-and-fall warning, and, barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

"Trust your instinct and soar! Is that all the advice you could give me for my first flight Dad?"

"I think oral sex is when they just talk about it."

'I can't find my key.'

'A cheap single room for a lodger, close to the city, quiet, easy to clean... here you are, sir!'

'Hi, this is Wilbur Gurkenman, your real estate agent! I've found a single room apartment I think you can afford...'

'Well, at least the landlord can't complain about a flat fish!'

'Your $5 gets your 3 minutes in the lavatory--now how much toilet paper would you like to purchase?'

Well, obviously, we can't live with MY parents …

A woman listening to an audio guide

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.

"Looks like rent-a-mob's arrived."