Starting A New Rental Gifts

'The owner says you can stay free the first month if you can find his lost TV remote.'

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

'Yeah, strictly speaking it's a hole, but I prefer to think of it as a bijou hole.'

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

"It's a little bit small,but it's got great cross ventilation."

"It's a nice unit, but there may be a faint odor from the last tenant..." "Yeah, enough to make you faint."

We divided it up and turned it into a rental.

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

"When you pay the rent for your one-room studio, you mustn't think about what you can get for that amount back in Iowa."

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors, slip-and-fall warning, and, barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

"He huffed and he puffed and he increased our rent."

'A cheap single room for a lodger, close to the city, quiet, easy to clean... here you are, sir!'

Shoe for Rent

'Well, at least the landlord can't complain about a flat fish!'

Tenants and Landlords - 'Are we nearly there? ...'

"Looks like rent-a-mob's arrived."

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.

"Well, thank God it's not the plumbing! Let's run down town, drop off a check and sign that lease!!"

The fourth little pig

"I'll email the landlord."

"For a 2 bed will need a guarantor, you don't by any chance know Jeff Bezos do you?"

'I'm presuming by the amount of rent you're asking for, it includes a full-time butler, maid and gardening staff!'

"You do realize you're not getting your security deposit back, right?"

"Here's a one-bedroom in the heart of downtown with it's own dedicated parking spot, which can be reached by a convenient twenty-minute cab ride."

Roder got a new lease on life. At a slightly higher rate.

'I'm sorry, but I don't feel comfortable with signing a long term lease.'

'You'll love the entertainment these thin walls will give you. The people in the next apartment have some dandy fights.'

"Well, you've just gone over the line in breaking the no pets, no smokers clause in the rental agreement, Mr. Crawford."

'Do you have a house for under £70 a week? Yes and I intend to continue living there.'

Apt house matchmaker: '23 - D meet 17 - c, sublet...'

"Rent or own?"

To Let

"Don't worry, dear. When it comes to getting you a better place, money is no object."