First Meeting With In-laws Pillows

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

"In-laws visiting again Fred?"

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

“I have to warn you - my parents are a bit old-fashioned.”

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'So, paternity leave problem solved then?'

Love at First Sight.

Bishops Snooker

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

'See, Dear? Told you I'd make it fit!'

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

Stockwell's day

"A little required reading before your G7 summit."

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

"Remember, they're just as afraid of you as you are of standing up to your mother."

"Mum, Dad... I'd like you to meet my fiance, Goldilocks."

"If it slows down, just ask my father about the murder he always swears he did not commit."

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

"At least our son is marrying a doctor!"

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Dylan. Dylan's ambition is to make conkers a recognized Olympic sport.'