Introduction To In-laws Pillows

"My, this Cabernet pairs well with your parents and the four Martinis I had at the bar."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

"Feel free to take notes."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"My daughter tells me you want to become a doctor."

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

“I have to warn you - my parents are a bit old-fashioned.”

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'So, paternity leave problem solved then?'

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

Stockwell's day

'See, Dear? Told you I'd make it fit!'

"A little required reading before your G7 summit."

Bishops Snooker

First Steps

"I've been in the doghouse ever since I tried to get my mother-in-law hanged as a witch."

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

"If it slows down, just ask my father about the murder he always swears he did not commit."

'He takes after your mother' (colour)

Polterguest: "When is your brother going to leave? He's driving me crazy!"

"She may be awhile. Her mother's helping her park."

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'It's only fair Geraldine. I had to meet your parents.'

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Dylan. Dylan's ambition is to make conkers a recognized Olympic sport.'