First Date Fiasco Fan T-Shirts

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

In Desperate Straits.

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

"What's the problem? I said dinner and a movie."

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"I never understand what you're trying to say."

"You have to get up early tomorrow, too? We have so much in common!"

"The dinner date was a disaster! I realised he was still a "Mama's Boy" when I saw he was expecting me to regurgitate his food..."

'Hi, I'm Raoul...I shall be your talking point of the evening.'

"I like long walks on the beach and beautiful sunsets, too...but who are you?"

"Damn. The minute I eat a stink bug, in walks Mr. Wonderful!..."

"Would you ask the chef to hurry? We're running out of conversation."

Nailed him on the first date.

"Are you 'Athletic, bronzed male, early thirties seeking buxom, fun-loving younger female'?"

'It is so nice going out with a man who isn't weird.'

'Hand me your issue of esquire. I have a hot date.'

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

Duncan made a real faux pas when he heard that his blind date was expecting a baby.

"Well, would you like to tell me anything about you now or shall I carry on where I left off?"

I brought a little ice breaker.'

"A MacArthur, the lecture circuit, and thou!"

'It's been an interesting evening. Do you mind if I use your ledge for a minute?'

'What I'm about to say, Miss Pomeroy, may shock and disgust you....'

Sandra had heard that men liked to be asked about themselves.

"I always thought you'd look great, covered in spiders."

Social Issues.