First-class Traveler Pillows

Haves and Have Nots.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"First class, or with children?"

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Vaccination Passport

Lenin, Anticipating His Arrival at Finland Station, Sees His Baggage Taken Off at Beloostrov.

A white collar cow.

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

The Desert Island Package

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

When travelling with her cat by plane, train, or bus, dawn always ensured no one would bother them.

Rail travel - the environmental alternative (that sometimes doesn't allow bikes)

"We're at the Grand Marina Hotel in Barcelona. Some sheepdog you turned out to be."

'Anything to declare?'

"One day he went for a swim in our infinity pool, and I haven't seen him since."

'It's very exclusive - if you bump into a celebrity you get a full refund.'

Miniature Trailer on Desert Island

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

The Queen Mary 2: World's largest ocean liner.

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

A guy fills up his camel with H2O in the desert.

Of course, Hal rented a car with economy gps.

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

Commuter on the Orient Express

"I know all about the rising costs of rent, utilities and food. I was thinking about it on the company jet on the way to my holiday house on the Cote D'Azur, but I'm afraid the company is under too much financial pressure to give you a raise."

'Can't I just travel on my learjet and have fun on my yacht and quit the stupid, boring political part of my presidency?'