First-class Traveler Prints

Haves and Have Nots.

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"First class, or with children?"

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Vaccination Passport

Lenin, Anticipating His Arrival at Finland Station, Sees His Baggage Taken Off at Beloostrov.

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

A white collar cow.

The Desert Island Package

"You can enhance your experience in first class by signing up to get live updates of how miserable everyone in coach is."

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

Rail travel - the environmental alternative (that sometimes doesn't allow bikes)

When travelling with her cat by plane, train, or bus, dawn always ensured no one would bother them.

"We're at the Grand Marina Hotel in Barcelona. Some sheepdog you turned out to be."

"One day he went for a swim in our infinity pool, and I haven't seen him since."

'Anything to declare?'

The Queen Mary 2: World's largest ocean liner.

A guy fills up his camel with H2O in the desert.

'It's very exclusive - if you bump into a celebrity you get a full refund.'

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

Fiji. London. Africa. Travel co. They say you can't take it with you --- but you can't go anywhere without it either.

Miniature Trailer on Desert Island

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but there is a 25 surcharge to use the lavatory,'

Travel Agency. We can afford far, and we can afford wide, but we can't afford both.

Of course, Hal rented a car with economy gps.

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

Commuter on the Orient Express

'Can't I just travel on my learjet and have fun on my yacht and quit the stupid, boring political part of my presidency?'