First Bill Pillows

"Today I got my first bill."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"His first out-of-body experience."

A young Don King

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

Late night teddy reading

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

Kar Boot Sale (child's toys).

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

'At lone at last.'

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

'Sure, I took your shovel. Ethics doesn't kick in for a year or two.'

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

"Honey, where's the baby?" "The first voyage of Sinbad"

'I know the answer. I just need a moment to come to grips with it.'

'A is for Arse.'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

"They look so young and helpless."

Little chef.

"Travelling with Child Sketchbook - day 2."

"His first word was 'Dotcom'."

"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."

"Bless, Poppy's first tweet!"

She doesn't like my song? All the kids LOVED it at Day Care!

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

Extra innings.

Parent is going to elaborate lengths to get the baby to eat.

What's the big surprise? All the latest theories of linguistics say we're born with the innate capacity for generating sentences.

Children's Dream Dinners: Superhero Special