First Aid Trainer Gifts

'The great thing about mindless violence is that it encourages the evolution of mindless altruism.'

Safety - Heimlich Manoeuvre.

Resusci Annie takes a well-earned vacation.

"Time to administer scout leader first aid protocol..."

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

First aid in mountains

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

With Wally the hermit crab showing no signs of life, Shirley yields to her kids' pleas and performs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

"Honey! What's wrong. . . Mommy get you a band-aid!"

Red Arrows Rookies

First aid departments

'I hope you all appreciate the irony in this.'

First Aid Box

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

I was coughing, Frank - I didn't need the Heimlich.

Crashed Aliens - "Miss Fortnum, come in here immediately..and bring the first aid kit."

"My God, now what?"

Medical Supplies

'Don't you people ever take a pulse? ! '

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."

Man who hits finger and screams for help has his mouth bound up instead of his finger by unsympathetic wife.

First aid and sculpture

"Nah, he doesn't need the Heimlich. I just don't like his tip."

"Will he be okay?"

'This book's useless - it just tells me to loosen her clothing...'

'How am I ever going to be able to practice my first aid if you insist on using an electric razor?'

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

"The Catlich Maneuver"

Why dogs hate CPR.

'Now, lift and squeeze the diaphragm.' ... 'Sweet.'

"I've got a pulse!"

Musical Accidents

"Thanks for the painkiller mum, but how does it know which leg to go down?"