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Medical Supplies

First aid in mountains

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"You overwatered the plant, again."

The Final Chapter.

Dog being carried off by ducks.

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

Does your computer have a webcam? Yes. I've fixed it so no one can spy on me. What a tech genius! A band-aid solution that works!

'My finger's stopped bleeding. I must have run out of blood.'

'Serves you right, just tearing open the charge card bill and reading it like that!!'

'I can dish it out, but I can't take it.'

"Will he be okay?"

'Have you been eating right?'

"It would appear that our 'rainy day investment fund' hasn't even yielded enough to buy us an umbrella each."

Hi, my name's Pam and I'll be your paramedic for the evening.

Head in the sand.

"First me stock split, then my wife ran away with my broker, then my driverless car drove off without me..."

Perpetual motion car

Just in: Condolence cards for the small investor.

Athlete nearly reaches finish line after his trousers fall down.

'Our mortgage is now owned by a guy named Lenny the Squid in bayonne, N.J.'

'He must be so excited - Today is his very first day at school!'

Novice gardener - not recognising daffodil

"I'll say it was good. There were times I even stopped looking at my phone."

"I accidentally logged into Turtle Tax instead of Turbo Tax a month ago and I'm still trying to get our W-2 information entered."

'No, but my friends hate me intensely.'

'Dinner will be a little late -- I was overcome by the fumes.'

First Aid

Biggest heimlich maneuver ever recorded.

The Heimlich Maneuver

"Relax! It's NOT a heart attack! The owner's manual says to expect intense panic during the unpacking stage, as you wonder how in the world you're going to pay for yet another totally impulsive purchase. It should pass in a day or so!"

"You ordered a tanker load, remember?" "I meant one of these!" (pointing to tiny oil tank).

'When it comes to texting, I'm all thumbs.'

The first Heimlich Manoeuvre.

"Your broker called. You're broke."