Fire Rituals Gifts

The annual burning of the winter coats.

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

This "fire" invention is taking more wood than we expected. The First Cost Overrun.

How to spot the infrequent Mass attendees.

"Love your ambiance!"

'I'm afraid this is going to lead to regulation of my invention.'

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

Naturists feelings of joy evaporate when a slug climbs up his arse

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

"If I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad?"

"At first I was homesick....now I'll probably be campsick for awhile!"

The Biggest Forest Fire Starter

'Shhhhh...He's preparing for the holiday season.'

'Get me a match! The pilot light in our competitive fire is out!'

'Isn't Daddy nice? -- He invented a night light for you!'

'No I haven't got a light, shove off!'

"I'm thinking that I may move hell to the west coast of the United States. There's more fire there."

'We've created fire! We're Gods!'

'It's primarily a toaster, but it has a lot of secondary functions.'

Do you kneel to pray in church? No, we stand up for our rites.

"Fire down."

Man in hell reads a sign declaring his eternal damnation.

'I just joined the Freemasons and I'm afraid you're our next sacrifice..'

'After scraping my tongue, flossing my teeth, brushing my teeth, whitening my teeth and gargling, I'm hungry all over again!'

Early 3D home entertainment systems.

"There you are, dear. . . that's you all set to watch satuday night television now!"

'Og's so modest...he won't mention it but he was the very first to discover fire!'

Cave cow makes grass fire.

Nadal's bottles

Indian Face Painting

"Good Lord, this is grape juice!"